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Educated & Exhausted: Relationships

Yelena Bivian

College is a time of growth; circles of friends grow, interests expand, one is submerged in the endless possibilities that college presents. Everyone is encouraged to join clubs, excel in classes, and make lifetime friends. However, nobody talks about the difficulty of balancing personal, familial, and academic time.

Sacrifices must be made but the tricky and sometimes messy thing is finding who to cut off or who to pay more attention to. The many roles we take on, pile on creating a new anxiety; the fear of letting someone down. The idea of succeeding academically is a strong persuasive force. It is the very reason why myself, and others, are in college; to better ourselves and create a better successful life. Yet, in order to obtain these tiresome hours, sleepless nights, and overnight stays at the library are needed. However, college is not just about going to classes and studying.

No, college is the place where you connect with others that share common interests. Clubs, organizations, Greek life; involvement is key. A home away from home is created through involvement but with involvement comes commitment. You commit time to these clubs or organizations that add to your college experience. You’re not simply a student, you become a part of a community that requires your attention and time.

In addition, to all this familial ties and time spent with family is thrown into the mix. Both commuter students and students that dorm know about the strain that constantly being away creates. As a student that dorms, I miss out on a lot of things at home special occasions, birthdays; things that can’t be covered with a phone call or a short visit. The desire to partake in family events is there but it is hard to designate time for parents, siblings, cousins etc. when distance and scheduling issues make it extremely difficult to do.

The role of student, daughter, committed member of organizations are being juggled. We all attempt to create some balance.

But we are not done yet!

Friendships do blossom in college in addition to friendships that have previously been established. Being a good friend is a want and a need. We want to be there for our friends, all of them. The opportunity to simply hang out with friends is a highlight in busy schedules. Friendships are valuable because they bring a sense of calm and fun to a hectic schedule. It is the time you have to kick back and enjoy time with people you care about. Although friendships exude positivity they require time. Friendships can only blossom if they are nurtured with time; time spent with each other.

Last but not least romantic relationships.

I can attest to the fact that having a significant other is a great thing. Someone being on your corner encouraging you, giving you not only love and affection but support and motivation is amazing. The one person you can count on to pick you up after a bad day or to simply watch a movie with. But relationships are hard. Especially when you have so much going on.

You want to be a good student,

A good friend,

A good daughter,

A committed group member,

A good girlfriend,


Time and sacrifices are necessary to do it all. It is a constant struggle trying to fit everything and everyone into a jam-packed schedule. But we often forget to think about ourselves. Yes, our commitments are important but, we ultimately have to do what is best for us.

This idea is something that I myself struggle with. I have lost friends due to the lack of communication or the lack of time we were able to spend with each other. However, that is a part of growing up. Friends, family, loved ones need to understand that you, as a student, are working hard to accomplish your goals. They can either come along for the ride or kindly step out.

All of our relationships are important. They have sentimental value and are influencing forces that make us happy. However, as we juggle all this we have to remember that it is okay to miss a meeting, or to not see a friend for a few days, to miss a phone call home. It is all about trying. We are working hard to maintain all of our relationships while achieving our goals. Don’t be too hard on yourself. It is all about balancing out fun times and hard times. After all, that is what college is about!

How have you managed your time any tips, tricks, or ideas?

Author: Yelena Bivian

Yelena, most commonly known as Yeli is a proud first-generation Mexican-American student currently enrolled at the University of Redlands as a junior. Her bilingual upbringing motivated her to pursue a double major in English Literature and Spanish as well as a minor in Philosophy. Influenced by her community, Yelena aspires to go into publishing and pursue writing.

When she isn’t drowning in essays or partaking in philosophical debates, she enjoys reading, listening to music too loud for her ears, running and working out.


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